House puns

What kind of house weighs the least?

A lighthouse.

Why did the house go to the doctor?

It had a window-pane.

Why did the roof get all the attention?

It was on top of everything.

Why did the window break up with the curtain?

It needed a better view.

What did one wall say to the other?

Meet you at the corner.

I'd tell you a construction joke, but I'm still working on it.

Why did the house go to the party?

It wanted to raise the roof.

What did the front door say to the key?

You always open me up.

Why was the staircase so successful?

It was always moving up.

Why did the carpet blush?

It was feeling a little floored.

Why did the window go to the doctor?

It had a pane in the glass.

Why was the kitchen so popular?

It was the heart of the home.

Why did the couch get a promotion?

It was always supporting the family.

Why did the doorbell get an award?

It always rang true.

What did the lamp say to the bulb?

You brighten my day.

Why did the hallway feel left out?

Everyone was just passing through.

Why did the doorknob stay calm?

It knew how to turn things around.

Why was the ceiling fan so popular?

It had a lot of admirers.

Why did the mailbox quit?

It felt like it was always being stuffed.

What do you call a house that's always loud?

A noisy neighbor-hood.

What did the thermostat say to the house?

I'm always trying to keep things cool.

Why do houses make bad poker players?

Everyone can see through their windows.

Why did the broom move out?

It was swept off its feet.

What did the door say to the doorframe?

I'm so hinged on you.

Why was the house throwing a party?

It was time for a housewarming.

Why was the front door so full of wisdom?

It had seen a lot of people come and go.

What's a house's favorite sport?

Home run.

I'd tell you a house joke, but it's still a fixer-upper.

What did the roof say to the house?

I've got you covered.

What did the floor say to the ceiling?

You're always above me.